If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize