idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
