Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
