today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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