What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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