Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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