Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
