Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
