if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
