Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
