Need sex. Gaining weight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
