eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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