ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize