Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
How's work?
Spinning.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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