ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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