I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
