Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize