i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i would punch a child for taco bell
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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