he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
