I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize