Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So vagazzling was a success
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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