There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
