Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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