Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
