one two three fourrrrnication!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
