then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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