**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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