she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
