I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
