Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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