i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
