But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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