Ambien. No doubt about it.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
