i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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