I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize