I've blown a few things in my day
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
