Where is the hickey?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize