Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
