Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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