ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
