Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
