wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
