Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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