I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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