I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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