remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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