take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
