Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
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