So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
