Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
