I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
