oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
