Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
