He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
