I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
