I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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