i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
