There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize