So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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