She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
