it hurts more in the daytime
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
