I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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